Day 7

It just dawned on me that all of this might sound crazy to some of you. As a counter-argument, I would like to say that I never believed in any of those things either. The world doesn't need you to believe in order to exist.

I guess that is something I’ve come to appreciate in the last few years. It has given me comfort how some things just really don't seem to matter in the bigger picture. Mistakes that once seemed life-changing had no real consequences at all.

The biggest battles I had to fight were in my head. In that sense, I am really my own worst enemy. I love overthinking things. A traveler once gave me a riddle that took me days to decipher. When I finally told him the answer he told me that not only was I wrong but that a five-year-old boy had solved his riddle within minutes just the day before. Sometimes the simple answer is the right one.

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and see what happens, that's what my boyfriend used to say. He always so cared free, sitting at the edge of the lake, water dripping down from his hair onto his chest.  And then he would just look at me and smile with the biggest brightest smile you'd ever seen. The world can be so perfect sometimes, but those moments never last long.

The secret place where we would meet was turned into a place of misery and despair. The lake was turned red with the blood of innocents. The years that followed were hard. The choices we had to make were weighing us down. I didn't want him to worry and that made him worry even more.

Boyd and I talked about this for hours the other day. I’d never even told him that I'd been in love on the other side, let alone that it was a man. He didn't really seem surprised though. There is this kind of unspoken trust. He is like a grandson to me.

Writing all of this down has been oddly therapeutic, even if I don't really know if it's healthy. I guess in the end that doesn't really matter, does it? It’s time for me to get some sleep and then tomorrow another post. Good night everybody and sweet dreams!